In the last few months (or so), our lives have changed quite a bit.
I had a major surgery (actually, it was 4 surgeries in the same day...bad idea) and have been SLOWING healing from that (a couple of minor in-office fixes since then and I think we are ALMOST DONE!).
I lost my last living grandparent on March 31st and that has been an adjustment. My MoMo (her name was Grandma Moses (I SWEAR!) but I have called her "MoMo" since I was little) was 87 years old and had been battling congestive heart failure for about a year. Watching her struggle to breath and be comfortable for the last month of her life was tough and hearing her say that she just wanted "to make it stop" will make anyone feel helpless. She had been talking with my Mom (her eldest daughter (she had 6 girls) who passed away in 2005) and I knew that she was ready but her big heart (no pun intended) kept her from leaving for whatever reason...until she passed away in her sleep while all of her family slept. MoMo and I had had our tiffs and battles over the years (especially when my Mom outed me to her and MoMo wouldn't speak to me for YEARS!) but she was my 4'6" little bundle of opinions and truth. Even if she thought it would hurt your feelings, she'd tell you how she felt and I appreciated that about her. She will be missed.
Kye's parents are having a house built in Irvine and combining two households into the new one. Kye's Mom likes things...LOTS OF THINGS!! So many things (multiples of the same things even) that moving them is going to be a nightmare for the stateside kids and their loved ones. Because Kye is in the construction business, his folks wanted him around for walk thrus and then the Final Walk Thru (seems that it needs to be formalized because it was such a P.I.T.A.) which took place last Friday. The house is SUPPOSED to close by the end of April but Kye gave them a multiple page punch list of things to repair before his parents would take ownership. We have been to Irvine more in the last 2 months than almost 6 months last year. It takes it's toll on a family, I tell you. Four hour drive there (when there's no traffic), four hour drive back (again, sans traffic) and then all of the emotions involved with interacting with a hoarder. We haven't had a full weekend home in months. Poor Kye...he's REALLY feeling all of this.
We are attempting to teach Tyler independence by giving him responsibilities and consequences. He was given "chores" at his Dad's but no rewards or accalades (sp?) for doing those things. I don't want him to feel like he is back in the same situation here but I also want to prepare him for "the real world". It's a fine line to walk, I tell ya!
As for my Avon Breast Cancer walk fundraising progress, I've hit the $500 mark!! YAY!!! I only "have" to raise $1,300 more to meet the minimum committment but would LOVE LOVE LOVE to raise more. I am taking goodies to work (cupcakes, cookies, brownies, etc) over the next few months and asking for donations from my coworkers. If you've ever worked nights, you know that sugary goodness at 3am is a MUST! Go me for using this to my advantage.
Off to tackle my to-do list...gotta get these handmade thank you cards for my donations out in the mail today or I'm going to look like a SCHMUCK!!
Change IS good eventually, even though the kind of change you are dealing with would take a toll on even the most "superhuman" of people. You've had a lot of loss in the past couple of months. Losing MoMo hit really hard and I know that it also brought back the pain and memories of losing your Mom and Dad. I can't speak for you, but I can easily imagine the impact on your emotions.
ReplyDeleteCouple this in with the fact that, whether you wanted the surgery or not, there is also a mourning process involved with losing our "girly parts". Its a loss and a change that really does affect us for the rest of our lives. I personally think that it was the right choice for you and that over time that loss will be easier to deal with, but I know that doesn't make it any easier right now.. It's a slow process. It was for me at least. Over time though I realized that it didn't make me any less feminine or sexy. I remembered that I didn't want to have any more children and wanted to simply focus on the ones that I have. It's a shock to the system. Affects your entire body and your mind. This of course affects our health and well-being and in turn affects others around us..well you get my drift. My point is that you have a TON going on in your life right now, good and bad, and that it's bringing about life changes. Honor that change and honor yourself. This all will pass in time and it will become much easier to deal with. Take a deep breath and hold on for the ride. Change has its share of bumps but I think its worth the cost of the ride in the end.
By the way.. WTG you for raising so much money. I'm loving your creativity. You rock!!
and last but not least... You are a beautiful woman from the tip of your toes, to the top of your head, to the inner core of your self. You are amazing and I'm so proud of the woman you are and feel blessed to be a part of your life.